That Christmas Spirit...
Being the week before Christmas, I figured it was time to get some shopping done. Honestly, how can you say that you've put enough thought into a gift if you don't think about it for the longest time possible? It takes weeks of careful consideration and thoughtful planning before realizing that the perfect gift is probably something you're going to find out of desperation while you are shopping in the last few minutes before closing time on Christmas Eve.
You people who buy your Christmas presents at the start of the month should be ashamed of yourselves.
Anyway, I try my hardest to get myself in the Christmas spirit every year. The Christmas tree in our house goes up right at the start of December, and Mrs Humble and I decorate the rest of the house shortly afterwards while listening to Christmas music. We're just trying to make our house a sanctuary for the warm Christmas spirit.
Unfortunately, it appears that the majority of people I interacted with this weekend didn't care much for Christmas spirit.
I can understand that when you are shopping next to thousands of other people who you don't know, you don't necessarily want to be overly friendly to everyone you meet. It'd just take too bloody long. What I'm talking about is common courtesy. I've presented three situations here that happened to me this weekend, as well as what you should and should not do to spread good Christmas cheer.
1. You're driving in heavy traffic and I slow down to let you into my lane.
What you should do: Give just a little wave to say, "Yes, I acknowledge that you went out of your way to notice and be courteous to me. Thank you."
What you shouldn't do: Sharply veer in front of me at Mach 2 only inches in front of my bumper and then slam on your brakes, not because there is anyone in front of you, but because you feel like being a dipshit.
2. You're shopping in WalMart during the last weekend before Christmas and you need to stop and look at something in the aisle.
What you should do: Move your cart off to the side. After all, it's pretty busy at WalMart at the best of times, and people might actually want to get by.
What you shouldn't do: Leave your cart sideways. Yes, fucking sideways. It has to completely block off the entire fucking aisle while you read the list of ingredients on a package of deoderant. And scoff at me when I slowly move your cart to the side so I can continue on my way.
3. You and your litter of children have to cross a major lane of a busy parking lot. I stop to let you cross in safety.
What you should do: Give a friendly wave and hurry across the road at a brisk pace with children in tow.
What you shouldn't do: Slowly waddle your thunder thighs into the middle of the road, turn around to yell at your brats, then continue your sluggish waddling while scratching your "Super-sized" ass. Look, I know that you didn't ask to be Lardzilla for Christmas, but whatever happened to being 'jolly'?
A little courtesy could mean the difference between a pleasant day and a steaming pile of shit on the hood of your car. I can spread the Christmas cheer both ways. Which would you rather have?
posted by mr_humble_guy @ 10:06 a.m.
2 comments
2 Comments:
doooood. thank you.
i'm the mom waiting waiting waiting for some gentleman like you among the throng of anuseseses (ani? i dunno) who don't care that i've two children and a trolley and it's raining.
when someone is kind enough to let us cross... i make the eight year old run, and i actually scoop up the three year old and run with her... all while giving the head nod and mouthing "thank you thank you thank you..."
it always blows my mind when i see people ignoring these basic rules of being a human being type person.
I enjoyed your holiday rants. Here's a couple I saw yesterday:
1. When picking up someone at the airport, don't pull in across three lanes of traffic to park, then have a lengthy wlecome home hugfest while completely gridlocking the drop-off zone. (This is the outside version of the sideways shopping cart bullshit you so accurately described)
2. At the baggage claim, don't hover on top of the carousel when nothing of yours is there yet. Stand back a bit so anyone at any time can jump in and grab their bag. Don't dry hump the carousel rail with your thumb up your ass bitching about where your bag is while some poor 100-pound, 70ish-year-old woman is trying to reach an arm in between your legs to fetch her 200-pound bag. (Don't worry, I grabbed the bag for the sweet old lady and "accidentally" grazed the jerk blocking her - I winked at him and said Merry Christmas, which made the playful nudge OK in my book. He was pissed, but I'm 6-4 and 330 pounds so he didn't say squat. I got a hug from the old lady, though).
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