Weekly Wednesday Asshat Award...

Until I get bored of it, I'm going to try and make my "Mr Humble Guy Award For Outstanding Asshattery" deal a weekly thing. It gives me some incentive to pay more attention to what is going on in the world, plus forces me to post at least once a week.

Luckily, this week was solid gold for adventures in asshattery. So much so that I will have to announce a tie.

On Monday, Stephen Harper of the Conservative party started a no-confidence vote that toppled the Canadian government, forcing last week's asshat Prime Minister Paul Martin to call an election for shortly after Christmas.

The problem is that this election is going to do NOTHING. Why, you ask? Simple: the majority of Canadians see Stephen Harper as some kind of child-eating demon.

Hey, kid...want a balloon?

The Liberals are going to win again with a minority government and Stephen Harper is going to have to step down. There is no possible way that he can't know that this is what will happen. Maybe he wants to step down? If so, why don't you step down before calling a no-confidence vote, then someone who has more personality than an old tire could take over and perhaps DO SOMETHING!!!

Even worse, now Canadians are going to be harassed for our entire Christmas season by all the fucking campaigning. No, you can't count on my vote. Merry Christmas, and get the fuck off my step before I bootfuck you down the street.

You should have thought this one through, Mr. Harper. Now you're just an asshat.

Well, enough about Canadian politics. Our second winner goes to the performers of the Grey Cup's halftime show: The Black Eyed Peas.

Dressing like a prostitute doesn't make you prettier, you know...

Two years ago at the Grey Cup (Canadian football's Superbowl, for anyone who wasn't aware), a Canadian performer named Shania Twain was heavily criticized for lip synching. For fuck's sakes, her guitar player had mitts on for the entire performance.

Two years later, I'm thinking lip synching might not be so bad.

Let me just put it this way: there are a lot of things that you can do in the recording studio to make you sound good that you just cannot do live. Any tone deaf half-baked "musician" can go into a recording studio and have it come out sounding good. That's the magic of audio recording technicians. To do anything live, the "musician" has to have something that technical people call "talent".

"Talent" doesn't include jumping around like an idiot, singing off key, singing while out of breath, or having a "borderline good looking" girl gyrate on stage.

Lemme just pull up the ol' thesaurus...

The Black Eyed Peas' performance on Sunday was appalling, atrocious, awful, dreadful, ghastly, hideous, horrendous, horrible, horrid, horrifying, terrible...you get the idea.

So, I proudly announce our latest winners of the "Mr Humble Guy Award For Outstanding Asshattery" trophy: Stephen Harper and The Black Eyed Peas.

Sorry, guys...you have to share.