Now That's Just False Advertising...

As a young kid, I remember that I loved going shopping with my mom at West Edmonton Mall. I was from a small town, so I was quite overwhelmed by all the unique stores that I was seeing for the first time. Believe it or not, I can even remember going into my very first dollar store. Was I so naive to think that everything in the store would only cost $1? Even with a name like "Everything For A Dollar"...

Sure enough, as we walked down the aisles: $2.00...$2.00...$1.00...$3.00...$2.00...

As times changed, the dollar stores really threw me for a loop: Items for $1.50. Still, I like my cheap junk, and it's an easy enough number to work with, so I let it slide.

However, while in a dollar store this week, I saw something that was quite out of place. You can see them in lots of other stores, but this definately did not belong here. In fact, it's mere appearance in this store both shocked and angered me.

It was a price tag that said $1.39.

Well, I snapped. Right there next to the cheap paintbrushes and stove element liners, I had a little temper tantrum.

Mr Humble Guy: FOR FUCK'S SAKE! A DOLLAR FUCKING THIRTY NINE? WE'RE IN A FUCKING DOLLAR STORE! EVERYTHING IS SUPPOSED TO COST A FUCKING DOLLAR! WHAT THE FUCK IS NEXT? SOMETHING COSTING SIX TWENTY THREE? FUCKING HELL! GOD DAMN FUCKING HELL!

As you can imagine, Mrs Humble ushered me out the door before I got kicked out. Could you imagine being kicked out of a dollar store?

Anyway, how the hell can they get away with this? I don't think that I can stress this enough. You can't just charge things in increments of a dollar and call yourself a dollar store. As well, you can't just have stuff priced near a dollar and call yourself a dollar store. Call me old fashioned, but I think that if you're a dollar store, things better be fucking priced at one goddamn dollar.

$1.39...where will it fucking end?

Billy Bob: Where'd you get the new car, Jim Bob?
Jim Bob: I picked it up at the "Everything For A Dollar" store. Only cost me $12,973.62