Mrs Humble doesn't sleep...

I tend to wake up a few times during the night, whether it is because I get thirsty or need to take a piss. However, because I'm retarded for the first five or so minutes after I wake up, it takes me a few minutes to figure out where I am, why I'm awake, and whether I should just get up and do what I need to do or try and sleep through it.

I've noticed that when I wake up, Mrs Humble always seems to be awake too. I've tried to figure this out, like maybe my need to take a leak has somehow telepathically sent a message to her brain to wake her up and make sure I don't piss in the bed. Maybe right before I wake up, I subconsiously scream bloody murder unbeknownst to myself. I've been told that one time when I was asleep, I was acting like a dog and tried to bite her...maybe I do that every night. It would explain why my mouth tastes like my ass in the morning...

Last night, I woke up right around 2:30am. It's dark and completely silent. I haven't made a sound (to my knowledge). Remember, 2:30 in the morning:

Mr Humble Guy: I'm going to get a drink
Mrs Humble: Okay. Hurry back.

I mean, seriously...how can she be fully awake and alert? She'll deny it to the death, but I'm convinced now that she doesn't sleep. Ever. I'm thinking of testing this theory over the next couple of nights. As soon as I wake up, I'm going to ask her the first question that comes to my head. I'm guessing the results will end up like this:

Night 1 - 3:23am

Mr Humble Guy: What was the name of that show that had the guy doing that thing?
Mrs Humble: Home Improvement?
Mr Humble Guy: Yeah, that's probably it

Night 2 - 2:15am

Mr Humble Guy: Can you explain what a "Compensating Variance" is?
Mrs Humble: It's the amount you would have to compensate someone for putting in place a policy that makes them worse off in order to make them just as well off as if the policy had never been put in place.
Mr Humble Guy: ...right...

Night 3 - 4:02am

Mr Humble Guy: You're driving a bus that has 15 people on it, and at the first stop 4 people get off and 7 people get on. At the next stop, 3 people get off and 4 people times the number of people already on the bus get on. Now...
Mrs Humble: I've heard this one already. The answer is Mrs Humble
Mr Humble Guy: ...damn...

Night 4 - 1:39am

Mr Humble Guy: What is the integral of 3xy/2 + (5πa/3)²?
Mrs Humble: Are you still having troubles with calculus, honey? Just because I got a better mark than you doesn't make you any less of a husband...
Mr Humble Guy: ...feels like it sometimes...

Night 5 - 2:44am

Mr Humble Guy: Hey honey. Since we're both awake, an...
Mrs Humble: (interrupting) No
Mr Humble Guy: ...okay. Goodnight.