Learned a new insult...

On the street that I make my daily commute to and from work, there is an area right close to my house where the four lanes turn into two lanes. It happens shortly after a set of lights. Basically, if you're in the right lane, you're going to have to haul ass off the line in order to not get stuck. A lot of people have become trapped here once or twice in their lives by commuters who don't want to let anyone in their lane, so generally, most people get in the left lane at the lights. This usually means there is 10 cars in the left lane and maybe 1 car in the right.

I'm usually the guy on the right, because I know how to haul ass. Actually, what I do is size up my competition. I check out the vehicle or two that is in front, and decide how I'm going to get in the left lane. Young shithead in a Civic? Probably going to race off the line, so I ease my way into second place. If it's a minivan, they are 100% guarunteed to go slow off the start. I don't care who is driving: if you're in a minivan at the lights, you are inevitably going to turn around and yell at your bratty kids just as the light turns green. Plus, it's a minivan. Like I'm going to let a minivan beat me off the line. With most cases, I just tromp on the gas as soon as the opposite light turns red and away I go.

So at lunch time, I'm approaching the lights, and sure enough there's a line of cars in the left lane. Of course, I take the right lane. My opponent off the line is an older fellow who has a handicap sticker on the windshield. This is going to be a piece of cake.

Light turns green, and I go.

Right away, I try to get into the left lane, but the other car is just behind and beside me. So I accelerate some more. So does he. I'm running out of lane, so I keep speeding up...as does the old man. We're going about 67 kmph in a 50 zone at this point.

Mr Humble Guy: Holy shit...this 'capper doesn't want to let me in!

Wait a minute...did I just call this guy a 'capper? First of all, I'm not even sure where I heard that. They didn't teach me that in school. Second, that's a rather disrespectful thing to call someone. If I was going to call him anything, I should have called him an asshole for purposely trying to not let me in.

So anyways, back to my story. I gave the whole, "Fuck this shit" expression and blew the doors off that asshole 'capper. I was going to end with something like, "I hope they have a wheelchair ramp to the losers circle", but that would just be mean...