Civic Abomination

Man, I hate Civics. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure they're fine cars and all, but I personally can't stand them. It's the image that they try to convey: "We're hip! We're with it! We're down with that shit!" This is made even worse by the fact that Civic's are now being associated with gangs, thugs, and other ne'er do wells. Who would have thought that? "Yo, Big K! We gonna roll down past that trippah Shashy's crib and bust some caps...but I want to get good fuel milage, so let's take my Japanese import, m'kay?"

To cap things off, I saw a Civic "Street Edition" in the parking lot yesterday. It had a "Street Edition" decal on it to obviously distinguish it from the "Monster Truck Off-Road Edition". I mean, seriously: "Street Edition"? That's retarded. The people who thought of it are retarded. There are a bunch of retarded CEO's in an office full of retarded peons spitting out retarded ideas like "Street Edition" every day. Every day is "Fucking Retard Convention Day" at that office.

Anyways, I've come up with some suggestions for a few new special editions:

Civic: Free From Terror Edition

Civic: Oscar Meyer Weiner Edition

Civic: Where It Belongs Edition